conditions

Thinking about conditions to reconciliation (I'm sure he has his for me but these are ones I'm thinking of for him).

1. full medical/psych eval for him - for depression, bipolar disorder or whatever the problem is (including taking meds)
   
2. internet accountability
3. individual counseling for him - need to get to the bottom of why he continuously seeks out new relationships on the internet and that go beyond the internet to the phone and to seeking out women locally
4. couples counseling with a chaplain - need to figure out how to speak each other's language and hone our communication skills
5. must work together with the money and bills
6. must show interest in me as a woman, not just in the bedroom - I want romanced
7. must actively partner with me in this family and household - not do all the housework or all the childcare or anything like that but PARTNER with me - share the load, divide up responsibilities more evenly, yes, taking into consideration that he has another job that he goes to all day
8. must be more involved with family time and the children's activities
9. no female friends that are not mutual friends and no excessive amounts of time spent with even the mutual friends (and definitely no alone time behind closed doors)- if he has a female friend that is not a mutual friend (ie: someone he plays online games with), then he cannot "hide" her from me and I need to be able to talk to her if I wanted to (which is unlikely that I will want to unless he starts acting secretive)
10. must have each other's email passwords
11. must be on his Myspace friends list
12. attend chapel as a family
13. must have access to cell phone call records

These are just some things off the top of my head. I'll probably add to this list later. As we are starting to spend more time together this week and getting along well, I have to be careful to not be led by my heart. I have to keep my goals in mind for the sake of my family's well being. I don't think he is even considering calling off the divorce but in the event that he does, I need to have my boundaries and high standards written down. We have been through too much as a family and I absolutely do not want to go back to the way it was. If these conditions can't be met, then I will gladly move on without him. I cannot settle for less.