challenge

After texting with him yesterday, I realize that it is a good idea (and important) that I distance myself from him. If there is any chance of us starting over down the road, he needs to have a life without me in it for now. It feels like that is what he has wanted or thought that he has needed for a long time. Plus, I need to heal from his infidelities. These months that he is away at school provides a perfect opportunity before something permanent happens. Plus, I can't handle the mixed signals. It hinders my progress. So what this means for me is that I can't call him or contact him. If he calls here, it will be for talking to the kids. It is very difficult for me to have the willpower to not contact him, either via phone, text, myspace or email. He'll either realize he doesn't want to live without me or he'll feel so "free" that he'll wish he had left a long time ago.

So I've given myself a challenge with a reward at the end. :-) If I go a full 7 days without giving in and contacting him, then I will treat myself to a full body massage at the spa. I desperately need it and definitely deserve it. Seven days doesn't sound like long but it will be a big challenge for me especially when we have 4 kids. It's hard for me to keep from letting him know about stuff going on with them. But if he doesn't call to find out about his kids, well then maybe he doesn't care to know.

Anyway, hopefully this time next week, I will be very relaxed from my deep tissue massage. :-) Who knows....maybe, if I do well, I'll challenge myself to another 7 days and reward myself with a haircut or pedicure and so on and so forth. lol Hm, by the end of the school year, I'll feel like a new woman. :-) lol