Friday, October 19, 2007

the other shoe drops

Earlier, when he was leaving to go back to work, I tried to hug him. He got very irritated, kept trying to sidestep me and I asked why. He said, in quite an irate tone, "because I don't want to. Stop". I quietly went upstairs, sat on the bed and cried.

So just now, I told him that we need to talk. He got this cocky look on his face and says, "about what?" I said, "are we going to keep going on like this until the kids move out or are we going to make some changes?" He said that he was in the middle of a game and was about to go outside for a cigarette. I said, "well, we need to talk soon". He said, "fine, then I'll start composing what I want to say". Oh joy. I don't know if I'm ready for this. I'm out of meds today. Have to pick up the Rx tomorrow a.m. Maybe I should stop and get a bottle of wine to sedate me. It's been over a year since I've had some. I'd probably only need one glass. lol I just feel a bit nervous and need to calm my nerves waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Hold me tight, Lord. I'm in for a rough ride.

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